Monday, 16 January 2017

HELLO 2017


It's been a couple of weeks now since the new year 2017 has dawned upon us. By now, the revelries have finally come to an end (for most of us), and it's business as usual once again. The year 2016 has long left us. All of us who have survived 2016 look forward to a better year this time around.

For me, the year 2016 seemed to have gone by really fast. On the personal front, 2016 was a roller-coaster year, with lots of ups and downs. The year, however, ended with a bang, what with yours truly being felicitated as one of the Star Performers at his workplace for the last quarter of 2016. I must admit that it feels great to be appreciated for your hard work; it raises your confidence by quite a few notches. However, it can also be a humbling experience to walk up the dais to receive your award, especially when you know that there are several other colleagues who might be much more deserving than you are.

The year 2016 had been a year of intense soul searching, self discovery and self actualization for me. Intense stress at work and otherwise led me to explore unknown facets of my personality and to push myself to pursue certain passions. Consequently, as 2016 inched closer towards the end, I managed to teach myself to play an old guitar that my sister once owned within a period of 2 months - proud to say that I surprised myself and my dear ones; so much so that my sister and brother-in-law gifted me a brand new guitar on my birthday on 9th January. I also took to Instagram with a vengeance, uploading some photographs that I considered worth sharing (you can find me on https://www.instagram.com/crdsouza/). Talking about 2017. apart from my birthday - which was a dull drab as it has historically been - the year has been amazing for me thus far (touch wood). I've made a whole lot of friends, both at and outside of work, regained a few lost friends, gained appreciation at the workplace and discovered a lot about myself, and I feel blessed.


Speaking about friends, they say that time and distance can never undo friendship. However, sometimes I think that is far from the truth. I've come to learn that 'out of sight is out of mind', especially in today's fast-paced age. As I say this, I am reminded of someone I knew. She was like a kid sister, and we shared a lot in common - thoughts, beliefs, hobbies & interests (blogging being one), tastes in music, love for reading, etc. However, when she moved out for a new job, we kinda lost touch. Yours truly tried his best to keep in touch through social media, but there was hardly any response. In a couple of months, I finally gave up. Ironically, she gave me a call last week, and initially I was thrilled to have received a call from her, but a few seconds into the conversation and I realized things were not the same anymore. I could not feel any connect - the conversation was extremely formal, devoid of any interest or enthusiasm, and strangely I found myself eager to end the conversation quickly. It was as if I was talking to a stranger. In hindsight, I wish I had held the conversation longer, but then again I think it wouldn't have helped. It's no one's fault - when we part ways with someone, we also cut away common experiences, thought processes, ideas, beliefs, and a sense of bonhomie and collaboration. It is very unlikely that two people who have parted ways will ever be on the same page emotionally, mentally or intellectually - unless they find a way to stay in touch.

It's a sad truth of life, and I dread the day I have to part ways with those whom I today count among my best friends.

Happy New Year to All of You.

Cheers,
CRD

Sunday, 11 December 2016

ALL TOO FAMILIAR


Look At Us...

Some Of Us Once Stood By Each Other
Like A Rock
Some Of Us Once Shone Bright For One Another
To Light Up The Dark

Now We're So Far Apart

Some Faces That We Once Found Endearing And New
Now Seem Intimidating And Old
Some Voices That We Once Found Silvery And Serene
Have Now Gone Dead And Cold

The Pillars We Once Leaned On For Care And Support
Have Now Become Canvases For Profanities And Dirt

The Sweetest Of Fruits Shall Eventually Rot And Go Sour
Every Torch Shall One Day Run Out Of Fire
That's When You Ought To Realise You've Run The Course
And Walk Away Silently Without Regret Or Remorse

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

LET'S GO TO WAR


We've Had Enough
'Tis Time To Act Tough
We'll Call Your Bluff
Let's Go To War!

You Killed Twenty Four
Yeah, We're Keeping Score
We're Coming For More
Let's Go To War!

War's A Bloody Affair
But We Don't Really Care
Got Plenty Of Soldiers To Spare
Let's Go To War!

You Go Get Your Missiles From China
We'll Get Some Jets From Russia
Let's Both Get Some Guns From America
Let's Go To War!

We Both Have Millions Starving
But Our Defence Budget's Always Rising
Like Cricket and Hockey, A Win On Yet Another Field Will Be Rewarding
Let's Go To War!

Let Innocents Fall
Let The Children Bawl
Let's Kill Us All
Let's Go To War!

Tuesday, 30 August 2016

HERE SHE COMES AGAIN (BRUTAL GAME)


Here She Comes Again Like Rain Across Parched Land
My Reins Clenched Oh-So-Tight, In Her 'Gentle' Soft Hands

She Tugs At My Heart, And Rips It Apart, With Equal Elan
One Moment I'm In Paradise, And The Very Next In Quicksand

And Yet Somehow, It Almost Feels Like Part Of A Divine Plan
Feels As If I'm Destined And Doomed To Eternal Remand
I Sit Back, Resign To My Fate, And Then I Stand
And Wait For Her To Continue With Her Brutal Game Of 'Upper Hand'

Saturday, 13 August 2016

SILENT DEATH

There was silence.

She gazed at the mirror. The familiar face stared into her eyes and asked, "You love him...don't you?"

She simply nodded her head and sighed, "No."

"Why do you lie?", the face in the mirror snapped back at her.

She lifted her hand to show the band on her ring finger.

And there was silence again.

Tuesday, 2 August 2016

फ़िर वही दास्तान - Phir Wahi Dastaan

यह मैं हूँ
बेसुध
फ़िक्रमंद
तेरी चाहत में खुदी को कुर्बान किया है हमने 

वह तुम हो
बेरुख
बेफ़िक्र
मेरी रूह को पैरों तले रौंद दिया है तुमने 

वह तुम हो
उड़ती हुई
झूमती हुई
आसमाँ में हवाओं से बातें करती हुई 

यह मैं हूँ
गिरता हुआ  
तड़पता हुआ
ज़मीन से लिपटकर धूल चाटता हुआ

यह मैं हूँ
तेरी हर हँसी पे मुस्कुराता हुआ
तेरे हर आँसू को अपना बनाता हुआ 

वह तुम हो
मेरी हर गुहार को अनसुनी करती हुई 
मेरे ज़ख्मों को अनदेखा करती हुई

अब और नहीं।
बस और नहीं।

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

DEATH OF A STATISTIC

We Spend Our Lives
Trying To Make Things Better
For Ourselves
For Our Kin
For Everyone Who Depends On Us

In The Bargain
We Are Expected
To Keep People Happy
To Keep The Cash Registers Ringing
To Keep The Wheels Turning
And To Build Empires
With Our Sweat
With Our Blood
With Our Bones

So While Living His Piddly Mortgaged Life
A Man Slowly Comes To Realise
That He Is Nothing But A Statistic
A Provider For His Family
A Resource At His Workplace
A Taxpayer To His Government
Just One Friend Among Countless Others
A Whipping Boy For Those Who Weild Power

And When This Man Eventually Dies
He Gets Reduced To Nothing But
A Corpse In The Morgue
Two Minutes Of Silence
A Picture On The Wall
A Tombstone In The Graveyard
An Urn of Bones And Ash
A Claim To Be Settled
A Record To Be Cleared
A 'Late' Entity

Such A Shame
That All The Statistic Wanted To Do All His Life
Was To Make All The Pages He Featured In
Look Healthy And Formidable
But At The End Of It All, He Is Ultimately Struck Off
And Life Goes On
Like He Never Ever Existed....

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