Sunday, 6 October 2013

HOLY WAR

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 42; the forty-second edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "COLOR"

The place would be thronging with people in some time. Zoeb knew it well. He smacked his lips in anticipation. The larger the crowd, the bigger the body count. The chances of missing your shots also reduced significantly with a larger number of potential targets.

He stayed put behind the bushes. There were others like him around, but he hoped no one else would come calling to share space. For hunters, sharing perches was as bad as sharing spoils.

A minute later, a lone young lady came walking out of the building lobby, dressed in executive formals, all decked up, leather bag in tow. She seemed to be looking around suspiciously, as if she was expecting something to happen any moment. Zoeb wasn't surprised.

She was now just a few metres away from his den. He couldn't miss from here.

He felt his weapon again. It felt awesome. A sniper rifle. Brand new, smooth, well-finished.

And most importantly....fully loaded.

He pulled it out, trained it on his target, watched through the telescopic sight, and caught the moving image of the lady at the centre of the cross-hairs.

And then, when he was sure that she was a goner, he pulled the trigger.

"AAHHHH...!!!"

She clutched her soaking-wet, blood-red blouse.

"YOU DIRTY PIG!!! I'LL TELL YOUR MOM ABOUT THIS!!!"

"BURA NA MAANO, HOLI HAI!!!", he screamed, and scampered off deep into the garden.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: 04

Sunday, 8 September 2013

AALA RE AALA

Youth...Intoxicated
Vices...Fornicated
Innocence...Decimated
Govinda Aala Re...Aala

The Bikes...The thrill
To Hunt...To Kill
And Hunt They Will
Govinda Aala Re...Aala

The meek...Dominated
Feminity...Violated
Their ego...Satiated
Govinda Aala Re...Aala

The Jeers, The Howls
The Wolves, They Prowl
They Grope...Why No Foul?  
Govinda Aala Re...Aala

Handis...Smashed
The Moolah...Encashed
Tradition Be Damned!
Govinda Aala Re...Aala

An Orgy...Celebrated
A festival...Desecrated
Depravity...Exonerated

Rogue Govinda Aala Re...Aala...

The number of rogue 'Govindas' is increasing over the years. It's a real shame that these guys call themselves Govindas.

Why are our festivals turning into a excuse to harass people?

Is Indian culture overrated?

Monday, 12 August 2013

LOW AND DRY

Everyone at the table were already engrossed in an intense discussion when the waiters arrived with the dinner platters. Lars cursed his luck. Fortunately for him, nobody seemed to have noticed that he had suddenly gone quiet about two minutes ago. He checked his pant pockets. "Dammit", he muttered to himself. This was promising to be his most embarrassing experience, especially since this was dinner hosted by the boss and attended by the entire team. Deep in is heart, he prayed that they'd somehow just let him be till he squeezed himself out of his predicament.

He reckoned it would unnecessarily draw attention to himself if he excused himself at precisely the time when dinner had just arrived. Or maybe it'd be a tad rude. He shifted in his seat. He sat nervously, waiting for that moment when no one was looking in his direction. What moments ago was only a small precipitation had now developed into a catchment that would give way at even a slight whiff. Lars was getting increasingly panicky.

"Care for clams Lars?" his boss asked in a slightly less commanding tone than usual.

Careful not to nod or even move his face for the slightest bit, he answered in the affirmative. Lars hated seafood, but right now he wasn't in the mood to provide an explanation for his dislike. He simply wanted things to move on as quickly as possible.

"You haven't said a thing since dinner arrived. Is something wrong?" asked Deloris, as she tilted her head to take a closer look at Lars' face. The tone wasn't very discreet, and almost immediately, all heads turned in his direction. The precipitation was now a huge drop that he could no longer safely hold onto. Lars sensed they'd found out what was amiss.

Feigning ignorance, he said "Nah, all's well", before quickly dropping his table napkin on the floor, muttering a spontaneous-sounding "oops", going down to fetch it, and emerging a good three seconds later after wiping his nose with the same napkin.

Lars thought he had cleverly saved his day.

Unfortunately for him, runny noses seem to have other ideas.



P.S. - I'm down with a fever and chest congestion. Spent the entire weekend tending to a runny nose. If you want a yardstick, then I'll say it ran at the rate of 12 full (and I mean 'full' till you can take no more 'full') kerchiefs per day. 

Here's something interesting about runny noses. A guy was suffering for more than 18 months from what he thought was a chronic runny nose. Eventually, he found out that his brain was leaking fluid.

Here's the link ---> CLICK HERE

Brain Drain?

Photo Credit : Keith Wright, http://www.delish.com

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

"WeChat WITH ANYONE, ANYWHERE!" - INDIBLOGGER'S IndiVine CONTEST ENTRY

WeChat was officially launched in India in May 2013. The 'app' developed by Chinese firm Tencent, has already taken South East Asia by storm.


Check out the WeChat channel on Youtube.

IndiBlogger wants us to name five people, whether dead or alive, whether real or fictional, that we would want to converse with in a group chat session on WeChat.

So here's presenting the five people I'd love to converse with on WeChat:-

1) Dr.Funmohan Singh
The man's a genius. Unknown to many, he's also the unassuming Prime Minister of Bharatland. It would be an honour to be able to chat with the man....and the lady behind him ;)

2) Gappi Lahiri
Gold prices might have plunged of late, but at Rs.27,000 per 10 gram it's still a royal indulgence. In such a scenario, it makes sense to be friends with someone who owns half the world's gold. Gappida also copies makes decent music. To top it all, his accent is hillarious cute. I guess his spellings would be at par too.

3) Balman Khan
I absolutely hate the guy. I think it's his arrogance and 'I own you all' attitude that ticks me off. A WeChat conversation would give me a chance to diss him without having to get into a physical confrontation.  

4) Singchana Puran Singh
Simply for comic relief.

5) Bugs Bunny
When I was a kid, he was my favourite cartoon character. He's a perpetual trickster who can get away with anything, and always finishes one-up on his foes. His wisecracks are awesome. He's a bad boy that every gentleman secretly wants to be like. He's the only fictional character in this list.

Here's how a group chat with these folks would go:

Me             : Hello folks

Funmohan  : Jai Madam Di. A very good day to you all.

Gappi         : Haylow. Kemonacho?

Balman      : Sniff sniff...Nacho...yahaan? How? Hahahahahaha 

Singchana  : Hahahahahahaha...Mind blowing!!

Bugs           : Eh...Whats up doc?

Me             : Erm...No...this is WeChat. Really cool app, no?

Funmohan  : Oh yes. It allows me to send voice messages. My cabinet members tell me they can finally hear my voice.

Singchana   : Hahahahahahaha. So sweet. I wanna take you home.

Funmohan   : 

Gappi          : Ekto baat batao haamko. Can aai sand mijuk thru dhees WeChat?

Me              : Mijuk? 

Bugs           : Now cut that out. What's all this hubbub, bub?

Balman       : Ho ho ho. Kitaney prateeshat bhartiyon ko inki baat samajh mein aayi? Hahahah

Me              : Aww cmon guys. Give him a break. Gappi da. Yeh Mijuk kya hai?

Gappi          : Arre dada. Mijuk ij mai laaif. Mijuk ij mai paishun. Mijuk ij..

Funmohan   : Madamji says he's talking about 'music'.

Gappi           : Ekdam barabar FunMohan da. Mijuk.

Me               : Oh yes. You can also send files through WeChat.

Funmohan   : Really?

Me            : Yes Sir. It also supports video calling. It also has the LiveChat feature. Hai na kamaal ka?

Bugs            : Munch munch munch...I'm multiplying. See...I'm multiplying. 


Me              : Haha. That's an emoticon Wabbit. There are hundreds of em on WeChat :)

Singchana   : Minnnndblowwwing. You make me proud.

Balman       : What the blackbuck? I thought she was here for comic relief

Singchana   : Oh ho ho ho ho ho...blackbuck...hahahahahahahaha

Balman       : Cut it out old hag 

Me              : Old hag? Now look who's talking

Balman       : You talkin to me?

Me              : What's the matter? Didn't have your dose of Pre-vital today?

Bugs           : Uh oh. I think you know this means war!

Gappi          : Hoodi baba! 

Funmohan   : Madamji bless your soul

Singchana   : Ohh Gosh! Mind numbing!! 

Balman       : Pick the damn phone you #@$% 












This post was written as part of IndiBlogger's "We Chat with Anyone, Anywhere!" contest.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

AND IT'S A SIX!!!


Scripted In Sanity has completed 6 years. Gifts are welcome.

Cash will be nice ;)


Cheers,
CRD

Sunday, 3 February 2013

WHY THE WORLD DIDN'T END IN 2012


Here we are. We finished with 2012, are more-than-a-month into 2013, and the world didn't end.

So, you think the Apocalypse prediction was a farce?

No friends, it wasn't. I think it only got postponed.

An array of forces must have worked in tandem to keep the world going for yet another day...or more than that.


Here's why I think the WORLD didn't end in 2012:-

  1. Because the Mayan calendar actually had another page which some genius must've casually misplaced
  2. Because Nostradamus had better ideas
  3. Because Rajnikant had already signed up for three more movies
  4. Because Sir Alex "Wily Old Jackass" Fergusson bargained for Extraaaaaa time. Good job Man Utd!
  5. Because someone God loves accumulated loads of Kingfisher Airlines' shares and is waiting for Mr.Mallya to come up with the investor/s he has been talking about since ages
  6. Because some of the Gods thought it would be inauspicious to conduct such an important task during a leap year
  7. Because the Angel of Death found it difficult to pile up the necessary ammunition in these times of high inflation and deep recession
  8. Because many people suddenly took loans thinking that the world would end and that they'd escape the cursed EMIs, and God could afford to miss this opportunity for a "haw-haw" moment. In other words, he enjoyed a mega MTV Bakra moment
  9. Because somebody got stoned at a new year party
  10. Because everyone acted busy and didn't seem bothered. God didn't expect the Climax he had planned to evoke such a cold reception

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! (I know I'm late)

Cheers
CRD

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